The Concept of Being A Rice Ball
by tasukichiriko
Summary: Tohru POV: Thinking of Kyo and Yuki, Tohru reexamines herself.


Title: The Concept of Being A Rice Ball  
Author: Kimmie (JaenKaeGW@hotmail.com)  
Archive: None yet.  
Category: POV  
Pairings: Kyo+Tohru  
Disclaimer: I don't own the characters, I mean no harm, I have no money... Stuff like that. Yeah.   
Rating: G  
Warnings: None.  
Spoilers: How can you have a good Furuba fic *without* them?  
Notes: While thinking about Tohru one day, I came up with a few ideas regarding her views on life. Then, being a staunch Tohru/Kyo fan, I came up with a few ideas regarding her views on Kyo. Then, I realized I had fic material there and set out to write this: my first Furuba fic. Enjoy!  
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My mother always told me to smile because as long as I was alive, there was something to be happy about. Then she died, I wondered if she was unhappy. However, I stumbled across a videotape of my mother and I from when I was very young, and I got to hear her say, "I have a little girl who is more precious to me than anything else. I'll be happy forever as long as she continues to smile."  
  
So I smile, but for a while, there was a section of my heart that no one could reach, and it never wanted to smile, but I forced myself, even through the suffering of tears, to smile for my mother.  
  
For a while now, I have been going to school with Sohma Yuki. He has always been popular and he is very smart and good-looking. He always wore a smile as well. In a whirlwind of situations, I came to live with his family and met his cousin, Sohma Kyo. While Yuki was a kindred spirit of mine, happy in the way I was: not really; Kyo was honestly unhappy on the surface, but he found joy in some of the littlest things. He could honestly say that he only hated Yuki, mice and leek. Yet, he rarely smiled. Having known him for a while now, I can understand why. Kyo has problems like no other human has. He makes me realize just why I should be happy. I have friends and family who love me, a job, a good school, a healthy body, and a mother whom I haven't forgotten and never plan to forget.  
  
I think I might love Yuki and Kyo beyond the level at which I love my other friends, or perhaps just in a different way. This scares me sometimes. They spend enough time as a car and mouse because of me. We couldn't have a physical relationship beyond me, well, petting them. Perhaps one day, there will be a cure for the curse of the Sohma clan. These people do not deserve to turn into animals of the Chinese zodiac when touched by someone of the opposite sex. And poor Kyo... he is the car. The cat is not part of the zodiac, but he is part of the story, and he is made to be the subject of many jokes within his family. My dear Kyo has the greatest curse of all. It makes me wonder how he can be happy underneath it all.  
  
Kyo is such a beautiful person. It's more than just his physical form, though he is rather handsome, just as Yuki is beautiful. He has a tough demeanor, and I couldn't seem to find a way to get along with him at first, though I wanted to very much. Once he opened up to me, though, we formed a friendship that I wouldn't give up for anything.  
  
I see Kyo and the way he gets along with people simply because it makes me happy. Hana-chan and Uo-chan would likely hate him if he hadn't been nice to them for my sake. And, then, to see him around kittens! He can't help but pet them like he likes to be petted. He doesn't like being scratched behind the ears much, just likes a nice slow rub on the top of the head, or on the bridge of his nose, and he likes to be scratched just in front of his tail. He also likes to have his stomach rubbed. It's unusual for a cat, but somehow fitting for Kyo.  
  
Yuki, I think, would do a anything for me. He is quick to come to my rescue whenever I need him, though, in truth, all of my friends would do that, I think. I would also like to do the same for them. For Yuki, Kyo, Hana-chan, Uo-chan... I would do anything if they would stay happy. It makes me truly happy.  
  
I have been through so much since I moved into the Sohma home. I have met so many extraordinary people and seen so many extraordinary things since I first stumbled across this house on my way to school that one day. I am grateful to my mother for teaching me the legend of the Chinese zodiac. Without that, I don't know that I would have been able to accept this family as much as I have. That is, with the exception of Akito. Such a man should not be allowed to do the things he does. I know he has problems, but for the things he has done to my Yuki and my Kyo... I can't say I don't want him to live, but I wish he'd never existed. I wish they had never had to go through the pain they had. I wish I could have been there to stop it.  
  
Yuki and Kyo mean so much to me, yet I don't feel torn between them. They are not equal in my mind, but the sums of their differences give them each their own parts of my heart. I don't know what I would do without them. I'd like to think that I will never have to know.  
  
Being with my friends has come to define my happiness. I know my mother would be happy for me, just as I know she would be proud of me. I found out how to fend for myself in life, and then I found people who would give me everything they had, just as I would give everything of mine to them. I have found my niche, and I am happy.  
  
When my mother died, I didn't think I would ever truly be able to get on with my life. Then, suddenly, I found myself in a situation where I could forget everything and just be me, and be happy. It came so easily that I didn't believe it at first. But now... I believe in myself and I believe in my friends and I believe in my mother. As long as life keeps up like this, I will be happy.  
  
I look forward to being happy, and to helping my friends be happy for the rest of my life. I will try my best to cure the Sohma curse, even though I have no idea now. But, I'll try. And I'll be happy.  
  
I love you, my friends. Thank you for my happiness. It is the best gift I've ever received.  
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Owari. ^_^ 


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